lets start things off with this
1.) im sick AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ON MY B-DAY and ongoing (22nd if ur wondering)

umm i give up on the list thing...

i am just depressed lately... so im not motivated to do much i get what i need to get done, done but other than that i just sit around and mope (my idea of moping = atreyu or emo equivilent i.e. dashboard confessional cartel ect ect volume to the max in a corner staring out a window for hour/days... or on the roof)
i dont even know why... i think im jealous of all of you guys' talent and artistic ability but thats just because of a few problems i have that fight each other to see who can screw me over the best... OCD making me sit down and finish/start/fix something, ADHD making have to get up and move around/start some else all that = me not gettin enough practice which lead to suck-age which lead to zero motivation which leads to depressions and lack of self care and tad bit of apathy. im bored out of my mind and yet i dont want to do anything so there is my dillemma. i i wanna find something to do and yet at the same time not want to do anything... guh i have such a headache... im trying to doodle now but then i got bored and now im sidetracked with this and drawing is supposed to e fun not feel like work... usually it is fun but when i look at it i want to throw it across the street and pray to god allah whoever that a mob of angry pandas will run thru with flaming waffles for the sole purpose of burning my sketch book and the school down. i am halfway thru a song thats never gonna get finished here are my lyrics so far

Who are you...?
to me who i'm s'osed to be?
to mold me the way you want
to limit my possibilities

These feelings are welling up
to the top and over the edge
drifting into your shores

So now you see
my soul is bare and cold
lying at the bottom of your ocean
my heart' marching alone
wanting to beat in time with yours

its spilling into you oceans,
echoing off your hands, your hair, your cheek

These feelings are welling up
to the top and over the edge
drifting into your shores

So here i am...
hurt and alone...
slowly being eaten away

inside out and upside down
im lost and cant fiind my way.
can you lead me?
will you be my guide?
will walk me over this ocean and onto your shores
with out hands... clasped tight...

These feelings are welling up
to the top and over the edge
drifting into your shores

your drifting away...
your drifting away...
your drifting away... from me...

this is my very rough and unfinished draft this is what i wrote as i sat im my lil corner...
i wrote the guitar for this as well but the timing is off and im bound to change it.

im feeling a lil better not that i typed that (cuz there is more there than whats on my paper) but anyways if you read the whole thing then comment and tell me what u think and would it kill anyone to say hi every once in a while? o yeah and i want to eat i kno i do and i kno i have to but i just cant when i try i get sicker and have to lie down....... i'll probably be visit the hospital shortly... again... JHVFKJHSVFKJASFKJBASILFBLIUBCVUDSVCJBSA:I BASIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! guh

well theres my heart and soul on a digital plate enjoy.